The wonderings, ponderings and other 'ings' of me. Lifestyle, review, news and opinion posts. Chic with a hint of sarcasm... hopefully!

Tuesday, 27 May 2014

Made In Chelsea - is anyone safe from Spencer (or Stevie?!)

White Flower @Cristina Bernhardsen Dreamstime Stock Photos
Let me start by saying I know that the ‘reality’ bit of Made in Chelsea’s stops at the cast’s names and that most of the situations they find themselves in are clearly orchestrated by the crew.  For example, meeting the one person they don’t want to see on a completely deserted London street that just happens to have a camera crew lurking about on it.  However seeing as I still angrily tweet my way through each episode I thought an MIC rant blog was in order.

NB will not be giving that much of a back story, you know what these amoebas have been up to.

Not since The Hills, or indeed my sisters ex-boyfriend, has there been a character I dislike more than Spencer.   Having repeatedly proved that he could not give a tinkers tit about anyone but himself, he has, again, done the dirty on his friends.  Firstly by cajoling Mytton’s (Binky’s Boyf) into taking part in an orgy (sure it was a gun/head scenario!)  but also by picking up a bit of fluff whose name I can’t remember purely because he knew Sam was into her.

This it seems was staggering to Sam which is strange seeing as Spencer went out with his sister Louise for far too many seasons and therefore he must have seen him cheat on her so constantly that she was turned into the personification of ‘damaged goods’. Said bit of fluff is only 19 and I don’t hold out much hope that her blank look will be a permanent feature, but does go to show that Spencer may have finally run out of fully grown adults to chase after.

It is surprising, considering the assumed IQ and sheer number of his conquests that a pregnancy scare hasn’t come up yet.  Perhaps it’s planned for the series finale or maybe Spencer has the entire female population of London sprayed down with a spermicide before they leave their abodes on the off chance he fancies bumping uglies with one/some of them.

At the bridge (where everyone goes for a good old bawl) Myttons and Binky have a rehash of his infidelity. NB Myttons, saying ‘fuckin’ every other word does not make your declaration of love any more believable.  What would is going 10 minutes without sticking your penis into other girls, 5 at least at last count, and then lying about it.  

In the final scene of the episode at a laughable ‘picnic’ Sam gleefully advises Riley that Stevie has kissed Stephanie. Up until now Stevie has acted like much less of an arsehole than most of the others, it seems the director’s probable promise of more cash per episode if he gets embroiled in A.N. Other love triangle was too good to pass up.

Stephanie Pratt (sister of aforementioned The Hills Spencer and kisser of Stevie) has some wicked one liners, in response to Stevie’s comment “I never wear green” she sarcastically replied “you’re so brave!” However it’s Lucy that remains the main saving grace of the show who acts like a normal person when faced with the rampant exchange of fluids between this frighteningly small group of bipeds, and even she’s fallen once or twice. 

Which is why the trailer from next week is so confusing as it sees Binky having dinner with Spencer and arguing with Lucy!  I don't know what's worse, that they are SUCH a bunch of numpties, or that I can't help but watch it every Monday.

I have decided though that this Chelsea is not a place in the known Universe, but a parallel one in which foolish, impractical and downright insane behaviour reigns.  And this is BAFTA award winning TV by the way.  *Palm Slaps Face*


PS if you're wondering about the flower image, I figured that a few of you may be as enraged as I was with the above, so thought a tranquil image might cancel some of this out... oh and it was free thanks to Dreamstime Stock photos.
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