The wonderings, ponderings and other 'ings' of me. Lifestyle, review, news and opinion posts. Chic with a hint of sarcasm... hopefully!

Wednesday 26 September 2012

Ennie Meany Miney Yo (EMMY)

The Emmys: Which is it.  Are they a place to hunt out the next big thing, work out which TV shows are likely to stay on air and a time of rewarding talented individuals for job well done? Or another excuse for the elite to parade around showcasing their wealth in another borrowed dress from a top designer?

Who cares.. lets Judge!

Turns out there were a great deal of very well attired ladies out that night, starting with:

Claire Danes in Lanvin
Claire Danes - My she's come a long way.  From shy school girl to schizophrenic FBI agent in1 easy step.  Think her hair and make up was just incredible and on first glance thought the dress was a little casual, but now I've changed my mind. All very flattering. Good start.

Anna Chlumsky in Christian Siriano
 Holy Moly its another blast from the past.  Anna Chlumsky (or the kid who's mate died in My Girl).  She's been off, got a degree and is now back and looking just fabulous.  Great earings too, where can I get a pair of those?

Christina Hendricks in Christian Siriano
Sigh... And it was going so well.  Is it really the same designer as above?  I hate to do this as I truly love this woman but her stylist has no clue what to do with a real woman's body.  This wouldn't be so bad if it had been in almost any other colour, as it is she's all washed out sweet wrapper-esk.

Zooey Deschannel in Reem Acra

Zooey's cutsey look is starting to grate on me a bit and I wish the stylist from New Girl would do her hair and make up more for the red carpet as well.  The sideburns last time and the frumpy bun this time.  Not my favourite look but she gets props for putting all that  tissue paper you get from posh shops to good use.

Lena Dunham in Prada
OK so first I had to look this girl up as I have no idea what she's done or who she is, turns out she's 'the daughter of a painter, Carroll Dunham and Laurie Simmons, a designer and photographer.' who knew?  She's obviously not got an iota of style and is definitley my WORST DRESSED.  Just cos its Prada doesn't mean it's good.

Hayden Panniettere in Marchesa
Seems the Cheerleader from Heroes has got a few bad reviews for this outfit but I kinda like the Indian vibe she's gone with.   Good hair too.

January Jones In Zac Posen
Last but not least the BEST DRESSED.  This is the best I think I've seen her, all attituded up but still a proper girly dress.  Get down with your bad self January!


Wednesday 5 September 2012

That's No Puppy! Olivia Palermo

For  a while now I’ve resisted blogging about someone I a) have never met and b) actively dislike due to not wanting to give the girl any more attention than she’s a ready getting and also because I’d rather not be a hater type.  But she invaded my house in the guise of a front cover image and 10 page spread in my monthly Instyle.  So Olivia Palermo its game on! 

For anyone not familiar with ‘reality’ US stars or Triple FA types (Famous For Fuck All!) allow me to introduce you.  Palermo was featured in The City (The Hills Spin off) as the arch enemy of sugary sweet Whitney Port.  With bitchy comments and an up-herself attitude, a one dimensional stuck up douche bag persona (I’ll not go so far to say personality) was born.

Never one to judge on a first impression I decided to read the article.  I have to nail varnish out her annoyingly bland face just to make sure that I wasn’t doing the girl a disservice with my hatred.  When I read that she had been slashed (an aggressive but apparently legal move in Lacrosse which broke bones in both her wrists) I did feel a little sorry for her.  Then I read this quote "When I see a fan it makes me so happy because I see the effect I have on her"  I think that makes you narcissism personified there Oli, as the only effect you’re having is to show girls that with enough money they too can be a jumped up clothes horse with THE KNOBBLIEST KNEES on the planet!? 
What the fuck is up with that!?
Other reasons for said hatred are:
  1.  She hates being associated with Kim K (even though she’s the same brand of famous, just less real and more snobbish) Also hating her time at The City seems she’s forgotten it is the reason she’s famous in the first place.
  2. Joan Rivers hated her as well (a powerful ally!) and has spoken of what a toss pot she is on Fashion Police (my favourite quote being ‘this girl is such a bitch everyone thought she was French’).
  3. For all her portrayed confidence, I’ve only found one picture of her without a full face of slap and this just reeks of insecurity.  Granted the girls not ugly but those beady little eyes, pinched mouth and mousey hair are all admirably aided by colours, cut and a fuck load of eye liner.

Thank God someone has sewn the bitches mouth shut!
Palermo in scrunchy wearing scandal!
So I now think that the girl that slashed her may have been a terminator style robot sent from the future.  One whose job it was not to break her wrists but lop her stupid self-centred fake head off thereby stopping us from having to endure hearing Palermo describe herself as an ‘Old Soul’ (ooh look at me I’m all deep AND stylish!).  Unfortunately this girl failed in her mission.  That was a sad sad day.

I will still enjoy In Style Mag, with its style, star interviews and fashion advice, but this particular edition, with its insistence that they can't take their eyes off of Palermo and calling her a “modern-day phenomenon” has me wondering when they are going to climb on down out of her butt and re-join the sane?

The interviewer would have you believe if you dislike Palermo you’ve “missed the point entirely” which is bollocks.  I get that there are unreality stars around now and don’t have a problem with the Kim Ks/Snooki’s and Millie Mackintosh’s of the world, because they all have what this girl is missing in droves, sincerity. 

In response the interviewer’s other bullshit comment about how hating her is “akin to hating a rare breed of teacup puppy” I say, look closely, look behind the eyes.  That’s not a puppy it’s a mechanical alligator wearing a PUPPY'S SKIN!

Wednesday 1 August 2012

Cool Britannia!

Taken from Lily Allen's Twitter, so its free right?
While I may pretend to be a fashion blogger those of you that know me, know that my real passion is having opinions on stuff and it hasn’t escaped my notice that there appears to be rather a ruckus about the Olympics over the past few days.  So I’m weighing in on the bits I deem important.

Lets just get this out of the way.  Chances are, were I Japanese I’d feel differently about the men’s gymnastics result (falling off but having the balance and poise to dismount properly takes some doing). But I’m GB so I reckon there’s some lesson in there about being graceful in defeat (or in layman’s terms, nobody likes a snitch!).  Still the boys seemed happy with their bronze and we all got to perv over their bods (scratch that, read applaud their control instead) and there may even be another hot Ginge in the making…

Then there’s Ye Shiwen, a 16-year-old girl who swam faster than Ryan Lochte.  The US coach John Leonard described her performance as "disturbing" and true it does seem a little bizarre and time will tell whether there is something awry here. As all medal winners are tested for 240 banned substances and, according to an article in the Guardian, her blood will be available for testing for 8(!!) years, this should give the US time to forge, I mean find, some evidence against her.

Tom Daley
Sure I have many times past comment on celebrities but I maintain that dissing someone’s dress sense or taking the mickey out of reality stars (you’re not talented, you’re not driven, you’re just a bunch of tarts famous for falling over, being drunk or pouting) is SO different to taking a swipe at an 18 yr old boy who’s father has passed away. Rileyy69 and anyone else that thinks they can hide behind social media to bully is a tosspot.  End of!

And so maybe we’re not doing that well in the medals stakes but jeeze I mean it’s only a game (give or take 300). Obviously we are concentrating on making the event as fair and non-capitalist as possible and ensuring stadiums are filled to bursting with sport lovers... or something.  Anyway I like the colour silver, even if it is only held for less than ten minutes. Gold can be so gawdy! Getting a few silver medals is something Thee Middle Sister, being the second child to enter her family, is rather happy about and shows the truth in that oldest and wisest of sayings ‘First the worst, Second the best’.

But style does have its place in the Olympics.  Apart from Stella's designs a vast number of athletes, as well as celebrities (see L. Allen's digits above) are showing their patronage with nail designs. And several businesses manufacturing Olympic memorabilia (this one in particular I find extremely practical) show the more light hearted side to the sporting events.

Picture and availability:

If you ignore all the it's sexist/women don’t get as much coverage as men issues and allegations of drug use (just admit you’re jealous of a little Chinese girl America), the Olympics is a time when many nations come together and proves they can get on.  For 2 weeks of the year at least.

Ps this was drafted before we got a whole mess of Golds, suddenly it’s not such a crass colour after all!

Tuesday 10 July 2012


What was I thinking?

I've had a bit of a fallout with my brain recently.  With all the fashion blogs I've been reading I thought I could keep up.  Handle the latest must have looks and show off my stylish prowess.  So when Ombre nails popped up on my radar and Glamour did a step by step guide to doing it at home I thought 'that doesn't look too hard I'll give it a go'. Supposedly you paint your nails one colour, let it dry completely, swirl two colours next to each other on a flat surface, soak up with a sponge, blot onto your nail and presto!

Cool huh? easy huh? Erm no, I haven't been so fooled into believing something since my sister told me that Alan Rickman was gay.... and living with the actor that played Victor Meldrew (I told people this story for YEARS and only just found out the truth this last Christmas.)

But I digress, I thought I'd try it as a pedi and managed the first part just fine.  But so I should seeing as I have been painting my nails since I was a teenager, alone in a bedroom with only my Corey Haim poster for company (I'm digressing again aren't I?).  The trouble brewed when the 'swirling' was called on.

In Glamour's picture, the varnish mixes fluidly like Vodka and Cointreau, Mine made oil and water look like bosom buddies.  No matter how much nail varnish I added or how vigorously I 'swirled' the colours, they merged about as well as Crystal Carrington and Alexis Colby and looked about as stylish (am giving my age away here aren't I ?)

I persevered though, in the delusional belief that I could still make it work, where I hit another snag.  I can't touch sponge.

Even writing about it is making my teeth stick and my breath come out all funny.  Phobias are weird, crazy annoying as all hell things and while mine isn't as bad as others (it's not like sponges have 8 legs and crawl around my house all day) the idea of touching one, and then repeatedly pressing it onto my nails has about as much appeal as finding out what happens if I stick a metal nail file in a plug socket. 

So instead of a (shudder) sponge, I used a sort of rubber make up pad, which basically made my nails look like I had just shoved my feet in a grinder of sorts.   The effect was compounded by the colours I picked.


It was at this point that I had the best idea that I'd had all night.  I thought 'Fuck it I'm having a glass of wine'.  That's the last time I believe anything a beauty magazine tells me :)

Wednesday 20 June 2012

Badgley Mischka, how did I miss ya?

I love twitter.  Invaluable information on topics like Icelandic weather or Johnny Depp’s marital status (I did tell him I was married and not to leave her for me!) has been gleaned from strangers across the world who are now friends.  And sharing my opinion of the Made in Chelsea lot (boy did I get THAT wrong!) with likeminded individuals has been very rewarding.

I could so see Hendricks in a dress like this

The only downside that I can see (other than a slight tingle of arthritis I sometimes feel after a particularly long clicking session) is the myriad of writing competitions I learn about, only to discover I'm not eligible to enter due to my nationality. 
Take this latest one, Blogger talent search with IFB and SAKS 5th Ave only open to USA residents (except Colorado and the Columbia weirdly, guess the SAKS girls and these two states haven't mixed well on the playground), and while I understand the reasoning it’s somewhat annoying.  Still as the task was to review your favourite resort line for 2012 (here I was thinking a resort was a place you to go on holiday!) it did open my eyes to a designer I had heard much of but paid little attention to.  Until now…
Badgley Mischka seem to have a knack for producing designs that transcend time.  From the same collection I found clothes that wouldn't have looked out of place in a 1950’s Monroe film, on the Mad Men set or worn by Leighton Meester in a scene from Gossip Girl.

But the real magic of their designs come because BM clothes are cut in a way that are so chic A list celebrities flock to wear them, but could still be worn by us lot too.  That is as long as we have an event to attend where such a dress would be appreciated, these aren’t the type of outfits you’d throw on to pop down to the grocery store for a carton of milk. 
Flattering cuts flirt with plunging necklines while dreamy feather detail (I’m big into feathers) and diamond light crystals are alongside bows, frills, pockets and peplum.  It’s all here in the one collection that could take you from a beach party to a cocktail party.  Now that’s a line with killing for.

All Images taken from HERE
(NB: Just FYI no one was actually killed in the writing of this review)

Monday 18 June 2012

What happens at a Clothes Swap

Photo taken from Debenhams Site
I'm so untrusting but this is how I'd have described my feelings about attending a clothes swapping party.  If I'm really honest my concern was other people would bring old clothes that were frumpy, worn out or dirty, but my lack of faith in womankind was given a firm slap when I turned up and saw what was being brought for trade at my first ever event.

The phase ‘one woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure' is such I cliché I can hardly bring myself to write it, but never were truer words spoken. Everyone (including myself) took this opportunity as an excuse to, in the nicest way possible, show off and finally part with that high end high street item that, though much loved, just hadn't made it out of the wardrobe.  If you've not yet ventured into the world of swapping don’t for a moment think its akin to a charity shop venture, it's so much more, here’s why:

Charity Shop first impressions: Musty smell, ramshackle arrangements of clothes, old people.
Clothes Swap first impressions: Wine! music, nibbles and clothes laid out around the comfy location of a friend’s lounge.

Charity Shop Donators: No idea! Could be queens, could be bag ladies or mental patients who have no need of their clothes any more as they are about to be locked away and the key thrown in the river.
Clothes Swap Donators: Friendly, pretty, well dressed people drinking wine (did I mention there was wine there?) and being wholly normal.

Second Hand Shop finds: When it comes to clothes this can be very hit and miss, you may find the odd French Connection top if you're really lucky or very thorough in your search.
Clothes Swap Finds: True, this was my maiden voyage but if it’s anything to go by LK BENNET, JIGSAW AND JASPER CONRAN!

Photo by Me!
So I wasn’t prepared for the excitement in the atmosphere or the quality of clothes.  Unfortuantley, nor was I prepared for the venom I felt for a perfectly lovely girl who had the audacity to TRY ON MY SHOES! (ok not my shoes per say, but shoes that I liked but had passed on as I didn’t want to spend cash). Seeing them on another’s feet, my inner bitch rose up like a phoenix from the ashes and quiped ‘maybe bit small for you’?  It should be embarrassing to admit as soon as she took them off they were back on my feet quicker then a child star can turn into a jailbird, it should also be embarrassing to admit the full on shopper’s high I got when I managed to swap them for a dress and a smaller amount of cash.  Luckily for me embarrassment is a distant relative I see little of.

Photo by Me!
There was also jewellery for sale at this swap, brightly coloured, individual pieces made out of Tagua nut (an ivory replacement) and available through The Mashi Foundation A charity aiming to help street kids in Ecuador. These went down a treat as they practically scream, “wear me, you’ll be saving elephants, helping kids and looking fabulous"what other ring can do all that?

Photo take from WapaWapa site Link above

From my (one) experience, it seems the style of the swap is set by the organiser, so if you are invited by someone of questionable taste, I'd walk the other way. But if the invitee has shown themselves to be of stylish origin it stands to reason they’ll mix with other similarly minded bods. If this is the case I suggest, grabbing that  skirt or trousers that you bought 4 yrs ago (wore once and then can’t wear again as it gives muffin top) grab some cash, a bottle of wine and don’t be afraid to haggle your way to a new outfit!

Sunday 3 June 2012

A shoe collection to make us green with envy (or not)

So a new designer has struggled her way to the top and with determination, passion and perseverance has finally achieved her dream of releasing a collection of shoes.  Either that or she asked her dad to sort it for her.  I am of course talking about Chloe 'TopShop' Green's endeavour into the designing world. 

Let's forget for a moment that the only reason we know this wannabe socialite is due to her 'showmance' (thank you Ros) with the gayest man since Quintin Crisp.  True we were spared a sex tape release to thrust her into the limelight, but the whole Olie from Made in Chelsea relationship fooled only those members of the public that have the intelligence of an oven glove (no offence to any oven gloves reading this).  

Let's also put aside the fact that she didn't think to try selling her collection to someone that wasn't closely related to her, thereby proving her business savvy was responsible for the collection being picked up rather than a massive strop.  No, all designers deserve the benefit of the doubt so I decided to look at the shoes themselves before I judged the designer.  

And I can honestly say I thought they were really really.....

The only way I could describe them would be to guess that a school gave an assignment to a bunch of 12 yr olds to design stripper shoes and this was the outcome.

While Chloe reports that Louboutin's red sole was the inspiration behind her green sole, her designs and tastes look to be a million miles from his.  Whoever told her the higher the heel the better the design was mistaken and Kate Moss reportedly liking them holds no sway with Thee Middle Sister (but you knew that anyway).  

While colour clash is in at the moment, I fear this is taking it colour blind status.  And true my age may well not be the Jade Collection's target audience, but while these shoes cost between £115 - £175 a pair, I'd recommend saving your money to put towards a real designer's shoes. 

If you still want a pair you can get them from here (where all the images were also borrowed)


Friday 18 May 2012

The Can Cannes Can!

So, one of my MANY followers managed to get a message through to me regarding the Cannes Red Carpet and like a good blogger I listen to all suggestions. Juliet, your wish, my command…

Lana Del Ray: so what if her live singing has an essence of the Milli Vanilli about it, I still love her album. But the smoking and all the drama (darling) show’s her up as a schoolgirl play acting at being cool rather than a woman optimising it. Nice (if a bit dull) dress though.

Eva Longoria: Like a really stunning version of one of those dollies your Nan used to put over an unsightly toilet roll. There is no denying she does look beautiful, but it was all a little ‘look at me mum, mum! MUM LOOK AT ME!’ in its delivery. Why was she there again?

Diana Kruger: My husband calls this one ‘dead behind the eyes’ and while her passion for life may be called into question her fashion style is spot on pretty much all of the time.  AND she’s dating Pacey from Dawson’s Creek which makes me more than a tad jealous.

Tilda Swinton: I know I go on about her a lot here but I honestly think she has the personality of a soggy bowl of cornflakes and her style is half as stimulating. This isn’t too bad for her and I did see one comment saying 'she looked amazing (as ever!)' but I’m not sure they had mastered standing up straight yet (their sign off was ‘DailyMailReader’) so we can dismiss that out of hand.

Jessica Chastain: WORST DRESSED this pains me as I loved her Oscar’s frock but even if this dress had seen an iron I still don’t think it would have scrubbed up much better.

Jane Fonda: the woman’s 74 and looks like this. Props to Mrs Fonda!

For the first time I couldn't pick 1 BEST DRESSED so I went for two.

Dolores Chaplin: Granddaughter of the legendary Charlie (should have known, oldest Hollywood was in her blood) her Lanvin dress was dramatic without being so in your face.

And Finally Fan Bing-Bing: a little out there but I get the feeling she’s not one to show up anywhere in a two piece and pearls, loving that she went with tradition with just a twist of fashion.

Tell me if I missed anyone you think deserved a mention!

Source getty images


Monday 14 May 2012

20 Years of Fabulous.

Ah Mr Louboutin,

Long have I revered his style and panache and viewing his exhibition at the Design Museum in London is an experience akin to arriving home after a lengthy and tedious journey.

Christian, it seems, was always destined for greatness as anyone that hangs out in the same club as Grace Jones at the age of 13 or bumps into Princess Caroline at a random event is not likely to spend the rest of their days in obscurity.

The exhibition allowed many a first time viewing of one of his shoes with (gasp) a BLACK sole made in 1994 and inspired Google hits to find out how much a Louboutin Barbie would cost (its £100 FYI and exclusive to Net-a-porter). Strangely the exhibition included a pair of shoes from his time at YSL and I wonder if Monsieur Saint Laurent would be as generous in the opposite situation given the current legal wrangling they are both embroiled in.

A particular highlight was the larger than life hologram of Dita Von Teese, doing what she does so well, in jewel encrusted liquid diamond stilettos. The images taken by David Lynch for the fetish collection were also more than a little intriguing (is it wrong that some of those shoes didn’t look so strange to me?)

An unfortunate low point was how aggressive the short, butch and attractively-challenged brogue wearing assistants were, especially when they saw an Iphone. It has yet to be explained why they were pouncing on anyone who seemed to approach a shoe barking ‘No Photographs’! (It’s not as if they were painting that will fade from exposure). One supposes it is due to the fact that they cannot afford the luxury they are surrounded by and therefore use what power they have to feel better about themselves. A shame yes, but not even those little Rottweilers could dampen the mood of the red sole sisters that wandered around their ruler’s life works.

Louboutin has reportedly commented that he does not care if his heels hurt women but I feel this was taken out of context.  Not to sound like a massive kissarse, but I believe it was aimed at celebrating Tina Turner for performing in his shoes for 3 hours straight rather than berating the mere mortals that also purchase his wares.   

Seeing the accumulation of his work all under one roof endears me to the man's genius more than ever and those of us blessed to own a pair of his heels left itching for another slice of the action.  Those that find his prices a little to 5” heel-ish can also celebrate as it has been announced recently he is embarking on a beauty range, the muse of which is said to be Queen Nefertiti.  So your lips can now match your feet as he won’t be charging over £300 for a lipstick… err will he?

All photos taken by Moi - Merci beaucoup!

Tuesday 8 May 2012

Red Carpet Netball Gala

Well, there weren't a great deal of hoops around and not one person had the guts to wear a Wing Defence bib which was disappointing.  However, Monday night's carpet event is apparently known as the most glamorous red carpet of the year (bit of an up yours to the Oscars but there you go!). 

Some of the designers even got to leave their velvet and jewel encrusted cages to walk alongside the starlets and while certain photos seemed to be the embodiment of what happens when Prince Charming leaves Cinderella (who, in her dispair turns to crack and is now being hoared out by Golem), others were stranger still.

Rather than ponder who is walking the carpet with whom and why, I thought it best to share a few that have sparked an inner monologue in my nogin.  Behold...

The Good
My girl Emma Stone pulls off cutesy pie and I'm starting to love Tory Burch’s style, a new favourite may be forming.

Not sure who this girl is but Marion Cotillard has my vote for the best look of the night (Beyonce was just too obvious!)and while I rarely include men in red carpet round ups, for Ed I'll make an exception.


The Bad

Diane Kruger: While this isn't that bad, I’m thinking she didn’t get a +1 and has therefore resorted to hiding Joshua Jackson under her skirt.

 Jessica Alba paid homage to the 80's complete with side sweeped hair and too much lipstick.  I’d probably like her more if the woman did anything other than breed children and wear different coloured pastel jeans for a living.

And the should be committed

Flying the flag for fucked-up dresses when Lady Gaga isn’t around we have Florence Welch in the ghost of a christmas tree.

Sarah J goes all Scarlett O'Hara on us and manages to knock up a dress AND shoes out of her oldcurtains, proof Celebrities shouldn't try austerity..

And finally Mary Kate Olsen, what the heck is up with her?  if this isn't a cry for help I don't know what is.

NB:No photographers were hurt in the process of this blog as no money has been sort for the images
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