That feeling of normality… when your mind is at peace and
your body well is, I believe, the most underrated feeling in the world. Something you only really crave, or even appreciate
when it’s no longer there. Having not
felt in tip top condition over the past few months I think I’m more than
qualified to say this. Feeling sick SUCKS!
I’ve been advised I have low blood pressure and so what you
may say, that’s a good thing isn’t it? And yes to some extent it is. But if
your blood pressure is so low that you feel nauseous and lightheaded (like when
you hit an air pocket in a plane and it drops 50 ft) and even faint then it’s
not a good thing, it’s a very bad thing. You see this occurs when your heart isn't pushing blood to your organs or brain properly
which, you know, is kind of required to deal with the basic functions of being
alive. At the risk of stating the bloody
obvious this has meant my physical health is having a strong influence on my
mental health which is something I need to keep an eye on as I have been prone to a little anxiety in the past.
The thing is once you know you have low blood pressure, you
are hyper aware of any and all symptoms that might be a sign its dropping. The notion that at any minute (because you
really don’t get much warning) a plan can be derailed and an evening,
weekend or week ruined is quite debilitating.
Am I going to be sick or well today? Am I going to be sick but then fine
a few minutes later? Am I going to be fine then faint on my sister and the maitre’d
of the poshest restaurant in Cambridge again*? Questions Questions!
It makes you not want to go out and resist making plans and I really feel for those dealing with chronic and long term diseases. I mean I’ve been a sulky mess
for a few months but this IS completely manageable. How much harder would it be if this had been
going on for years or if the doctors didn’t understand what was happening to
me!? How depressing? How confusing? What anxiety inducing cycle of despair would that have put me in?
But like I said, for me this is handle-able and I’m finding
the silver lining in this fucker. My diet
and hydration are key so I’m paying more attention to
this. I’m listening to myself when I’m feeling unsure. I’m meditating more (using Calm which I’m finding extremely helpful!) I’m changing my exercise routine and
looking at the bigger picture.
On an
immediate level, I’ve got a blood pressure monitor so if I have made
plans to go out for an evening or am feeling unwell I can quickly find out if I
need to take action to up my blood pressure, putting the power back in my
hands! And that feels good. So good that
I’ve now had 2 two whole days with minimal symptoms, which is something I am making a point to think about and be grateful for.
What about you, what are you doing to look after your mental & physical well being?
*Yes that actually happened!
No comments
Post a Comment