The wonderings, ponderings and other 'ings' of me. Lifestyle, review, news and opinion posts. Chic with a hint of sarcasm... hopefully!

Monday 28 August 2017

Starting Over

Starting a new job can, at times, be difficult.  You don’t know anyone but they all each other, you’re not sure what to wear, whether you can swear and it can all be a bit intense.  But for all this uncertainty there is one thing that’s a real plus.  You get to make a first impression. 

Like signing up to Facebook* with a brand new profile, you get a clean slate.  Your colleagues don’t yet know you and, if they are anything like the lovely people I’ve just started working with, they’ll want to remedy that ASAP.  Seeing as there is no chance to second guess what they want to hear you’ll just have to be honest. 

In the past I spent way too much time weighing up what I thought other people wanted to hear before giving ‘my opinion’. Anything from if a dress suited them to my political stance would be 'tweaked' to accommodate who I was with. Not always mind, but regularly enough that a few years ago I realised what I was doing and made a conscious effort to stop.  Now when I’m asked a question I try to answer as honestly as I know how.  

The wonderful thing here is that I get to show people who I am at this point in my life and have a chance to make that person my best self. We all know about our best self, it’s the person we’d most like to believe we are or are becoming. The person that communicates, feels and loves in a way that feels intrinsically ‘right’. For me it’s becoming more about sincerity and honesty. The people that have come into my life over the past five or so years know me as I am, not as I was at 20 or 30. I can honestly say I’m more comfortable in their presence than I am in the presence of others I’ve known for donkeys.   

That’s not to say old friends aren't truly valuable and to be cherished. They’re the ones that already understand if we’re not morning people and if saying the words ‘its fine’ actually means ‘it's not fine, get here now, bring gin! They know if we say something that comes across a bit cruel was meant that way or if we just phrased it badly. They know how much we can handle having the piss taken out of us and (if a decent sort) won’t push our buttons just for the sake of it. 

The flip side to all this is people that we met and got to know 10 or 20 years ago, carry a bit of that person with them throughout the relationship. We all do it, myself included because its human nature to subconsciously label things, it makes us feel we have a handle on what or who someone is. The longer a relationship goes on, the stronger that label can get. The problem lies in if the original opinion of us was a misconception, whether it’s one we initiated or one they came to doesn’t much matter.

Getting to know people in later years, as we change and grow is cathartic.  It’s freeing and so unbelievably cleansing I genuinely believe we should all make an effort to bring new people into our lives regularly.  While we’re at it maybe we should also sporadically wipe everything we put on Facebook and force us all to start afresh there too.

What do you think?

* or some other social media platform


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