Don't be such a bitch!

It’s time to talk about an affliction that has been sweeping the nation. There is no known cure and many of those affected won’t even know that they've got it.  I know because I am one, and I only truly realised when I saw a photograph of myself that was not a selfie.   A picture I hadn't taken showed me that I too, am a sufferer of RBF.  

Resting Bitch Face.

I first had an inkling that my face didn’t react the same way as others as a teenager.  Several times whilst I was staring out into space, wondering what I would do if Corey Haim ever came to the UK, or what colour scrunchy to wear (yes it was the 80’s) I was accosted by people I had no memory of upsetting.  On these occasions they would get fairly annoyed and enquire as to what ‘my problem’ was.   It took a while for me to figure out they felt I had been staring at them with a bitchy look… apparently. 

I have been reminded I have this tendency by my ever lovin' hubby but its not something I spend too much time thinking about.   However I felt inclined to write about this after reading an article on Stylist about ladies that put on their make up on the train (quite an art!) I agreed with many of the sentiments the writer mentioned until she wrote this:

"On any given day, the reactions to my train make-up routine run the gamut from captive fascination, bemusement, huffiness, snarls, eye rolls, bitchy-resting-faces, scowls and my favourite, a flurry of tuts from middle-aged gentlemen with briefcases”.

Now hang on a second!  Bitchy-resting-faced people are not the same as plain old bitches. They're mostly likely not even really looking at you.  If they are its through a sleepy haze mildly wondering 'how is she going to get her winged eyeliner the same on both eyes when the train banks right in a minute?'

RBF gets a bad wrap and is constantly confused with No Expression At All Face (NEAAF). NEAAF affects the face as well but means the poor soul has the same expression whether they are happy, sad or angry etc. 

People assume those with RBF would be good at poker however I, and my family, can vouch that is most definitely not the case.  It is the upside for NEAAF sufferers however (if this is you I suggest you learn the rules and get yourself down to Las Vegas pronto!)  See it's resting bitch face, not engaged bitch face so when I am excited and interested my face is too.  It's only when I'm not doing or really thinking about anything that I look like a complete cow. 

So next time you see me or anyone with a face like a cat's backside please try to remember, they’re not necessarily pissed off at the world.  They may just be resting their face. 

Have you had any similar experiences?