Cannes Carpet Critique!

So Cannes is in the can and the best film they could come up with seems to have been about a lesbian with blue hair, I honestly couldn’t comment having not seen it.  However what I have seen was the myriad of red carpet dresses that were paraded around and so donning my dress-judgy hat (it’s one of many I assure you) lets dig into the array of wonderfulness that was the Cannes Red Carpets…

Tilda Swinton

Channelling Spencer 'Wankee-face' Matthews from MIC's hair and wearing gold pyjamas The best I could say here is at least she remembered to wear a little lipstick.

Karlie Kloss

Giving a nod to the roaring 20’s (how very Gatsby) Karlie looked every inch the sophisticated starlet.













 Marion Cotillard

Was elegance personified in her Dior Gown.  Loved the flash of the silver shoe too!















Heidi Klum 

Giving us a real flash back to the Dynasty era with her one shoulder padded studded white number.  I get that she 'stunning and single' but seriously love, unless you want to start being compared to Madonna you may want to put it away (just once in while!)


















Mila Jolivich


You know I’d have raved about this look if she hadn’t had a ribcage like an old washing board.  You could seriously see every inch of her skeletal frame and it was about as sexy and attractive as a large turd.  Had the dress a little more coverage on top it would have been one of my favourites.











Katerina Graham 

And the award for looking least like herself had to go to the witch from Vampire Diaries.  The Marylin Monroe Blonde Bombshell look was among the worst I have seen in a while and the orange 70’s designed dress, though well fitted made me itch just looking at it. Whoever told her that she should try this look is a short sighted moron, everyone's allowed a style hiccup once in a while (thank God) but please learn from this and shoot your stylist K  WORST DRESSED

Emma Watson

Emma was her usual sweet self, and looked lovely in her Chanel Gown at The Bling Ring premier (another film I just have to watch!)  I’d love for her to take a bit more of a risk but there’s no faulting the turnout.










 Zhang Ziyi


However my new favourite Style Star has to be Zhang Ziyi.

The Chinese actress (whose films I should probably at least skim over if I’m going to praise her so) turned up in Chanel, Dior and Elle Saab to name but a few and looked ravishingly elegant in all of them.  Best Dressed of the whole epic event by about a million miles!