Tuesday, 9 April 2013
Morons In Chelsea II
It’s back, the programme I thought wouldn’t get past series 1 has reached its 5th Series! Not only can I admit I was very very wrong on that front but I can also say I find this reality show (which we all know is about as ‘real’ as Katie Price’s bresticals!) mind-numbingly addictive.
MIC got one thing right in-between series one and two. It started taking the piss out of itself and with that the posh twats we allowed into our lounges were no longer objects of envy but comic geniuses (I’m talking about you Francis). Let’s dig into some of my favourite characters to love (and hate)
First the goodies:
Now here’s a sweetie that, so far, has yet to display a modicum of nastiness (which considering the circle she moves in is pretty amazing). She’s managed to stand up for herself when the peter-pan like Jamie made the whole country want to strangle him with his do I/don’t I love you ways last season and has shown that posh but daft sense of humour off brilliantly.
Francis (both of them: Boulle and Mark)
Francis Boulle has definitely upped his game this season (I think its cos Sophia popped his cherry so now he’s not all amphibian on amphetamines when in the presence of ladies. He managed to hold his own against Spencer, isn’t all that concerned with being popular and though at times he looks to be in need of a full time carer is skateboarding his way into our hearts.
Mark Francis (MF)
The one the posh people think of as posh has the comic timing of Tommy Cooper (just better dressed and ya’know less dead). MF left his front door open because the maid had gone to South of France (or somewhere) and couldn’t possibly mange to open the door by himself and henceforth was crowned MIC King. Somewhat asexual in his attitude to life (one imagines sex to be far too messy for MF to get involved with) he livens up what can at times be dull as ditchwater conversations with his witticisms. The only downside is his obsession about staying friends with Victoria. Which leads me neatly into…
This woman hasn’t a good word to say about anyone (other than MF) and there is no point, story or character to this D lister. She’s even started copying her arch enemy Mille Macintosh by wearing different hats because people love Mille and the general consensus of Victoria is that she should do womankind a huge favour, stick her witchlike hands in the nearest electrical socket and cease to exist.
Never has one girl done so much to detract from the entire Women’s Lib stuff that was fought out by Pankhurst than this girl. When last we saw Louise she was throwing something at her douche of a boyfriend, we're not quire sure what but suspect it was her dignity. Emily would not only be spinning in her grave I wouldn’t be surprised if she found the gumption to get up and zombie her way over to Chelsea and eat Louise’s brains (a muscle quite unused by the young girl) thereby saving us from having to listen to her whining, whingey clingy crying ways AAAAANYMORE!
Not since a different Spencer ‘graced’ our reality screens has there been such a knob jockey on the TV. This guy may as well twirl his moustache and tie his girlfriend (the aforementioned Louise) to the train tracks he’s such a caricature villain. The greasiness of his hair is only matched by that of his persona and how he gets so many girls to fall for his (ahem) charms is beyond me (they must have had their brains removed and eaten by the Zombie Pankhurst I was rambling about earlier), the very sight of this fish eyed fuck face with his scarily controlling treatment of women, screwed up logic and catastrophically bad dress sense has me reaching for a large bread knife with which to get all stabby-up-in-here… and breathe*!
Despite all this, the magic of MIC is that no one makes most people I know, mine H (though he swears its only to ridicule) or even me watch it but we all do. And while it may be complete trash, in loving to laugh at and deliciously hating the characters in the show, it’s managed the unthinkable. It makes me actually look forward to Mondays.
Well that and Game of Thrones – now there’s a cross over that needs to happen!
*I borrowed that saying from here as it perfectly describes my feelings. This blog is the bollocks and I doubt I’ll ever be this funny. You should all read it!
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