The wonderings, ponderings and other 'ings' of me. Lifestyle, review, news and opinion posts. Chic with a hint of sarcasm... hopefully!

Monday 14 January 2013

Gold! (always believe in your soul)

So back from my self-imposed hiatus and 2013 is literately bitchslapping me into action.  As the Red Carpet season is swinging away like a monkey in a jungle and I am in the enviable position of having 3 people (and that’s up by 200% on last year) asking where my golden globe review is, let’s crack on  shall we?

First off lets chat about Salma Hayek - Gucci: and Sofia Vergara seemingly involved in some sort of booty-off.  Though honestly if I look even a bit like either of these two in the next 10-15 years, I'll be a very happy bunny, and so will my husband.


Unfortunately tired of her co-star getting all the attention Sarah Hyland in Max Azaria Atelier has gone all Barbie on us.  Really don’t think this look suits her (and can you say boob job?).

Katharine McPhee – Theyskens’ Theory: So THAT’S who used up all the tit tap in Hollywood! Girl you got some enemies now.  This look is heading towards my best dressed options, (I obviously approve of slapper-chic) so nice effort.  The aforementioned husband does not approve of the sellotaped footwear (though why he was looking at her feet is anyone's guess!)

Adele – Burberry: Truly I adore you but someone needs to break into your wardrobe and steal everything in there that’s black.  Big girls can wear colour too ya'know!

Eva Longoria – Emilo Pucci: Bit of an Angie copycat and this picture in particular looks rather like she got caught needing a wee!

Jessica Alba – Oscar De La Renta: Jammiest woman in Hollywood as she does nothing and STILL gets to go to these red carpet dos.  And yes she does look perfect (though all she does is strut around getting photographed so you’d hope she’s a pro by now) but perfection is dull NEXT!

Claire Danes – Versace: Face and hair gorgeous yet natural, Up yours Matt Damon (she maybe gotten over it but I never will!) BEST DRESSED NOMINEE!

   Jessica Chastain – Calvin Klein: Why do truly talented and beautiful people not have just one NORMAL person around them to tell them what doesn’t work?  Her stylist obviously allowed a woman with much larger and saggier boobs than Jessica (probably her gran who came with her) wear the dress first and get it all out of shape.

Emily Blunt – Micheal Kors: Kinda skinny but bit of a sex kitten all the same.  There’s a stomach that will make me stop licking peanut butter off my fingers and do a couple of press-ups! BEST DRESSED NOMINEE!
Lucy Liu – This one made my brain hurt from do I/don’t I like it.  Loved the hair, makeup, pockets and cut but just wasn’t sure of the fruity design.  However after much consideration it’s a big thumbs up for taking a chance.  BEST DRESSED NOMINEE!

 Amy Adams Marchesa – though this is a beautiful dress generally it’s a given not to match your skin tone with your dress unless you were aiming to be the ‘naked mermaid’ in a bunch of weirdos wet-dreams.

Anne Hathaway Chanel – My girl crush looking kinda perfect (but you knew I would say that) still prefer the longer hair though. Go get yourself some vitamin B Annie! BEST DRESSED NOMINEE!

Michelle Dockery Alexandre Vauthier – Just pipping Liu to the post and showing all and sundry that British people can dress well.  All over loveliness. BEST DRESSED

Tied for WORST DRESSED Lena Dunham killing a Zac Posen and Mayim Bialik in Terani.  I seem to recall having to have words with Lena once before, this is not the dress for either of you as old Lady looks are not 21013. Better luck next time ladies.

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