I’m not entirely sure how this happened. I consider myself to be a pretty intelligent person and generally like to watch a myriad of different programmes that don’t kill the brain cells. But this afternoon I found myself looking up what time a particular family based show was going to be on. I knew it would be on at some point -there are enough series now that it is spit-roasted on E! Entertainment most days if not every day of the week. But the fact that I am consciously finding the schedule it has slotted into can only mean one thing. I have (again) been infected by American reality TV.
First it was The Hills, which I came across when I was off sick one day. Some pretty girl in white dress screaming ‘you know what you did! you know what you did!’ caught my attention and I became hooked. Loved the clothes, loved the drama, loved the fact that Spencer Pratt (name says it all really doesn’t it?) had a full on nervous breakdown in front of God knows how many thousands of people.
And yes for the first few seasons I really did think it was at least quasi-real. Obviously after the programme exploded and the girls couldn’t walk out the door without 25 paps running around after them they had take it off the street and onto a set. But still, it came across as classy reality and meant that the highly delusional, like myself, can pretend they have beautiful friends and live in LA. Then Lauren went and ruined it by refusing to be filmed anymore and all that was left were coke heads, air heads and one particularly self involved narcissistic spoilt little Colorado bitch 'head'. So I assumed I would go back to watching normal stuff again. Unfortunately my jelly brain had other ideas and I am now all involved with a whole other bunch of people again. I guess its confession time so here goes - Ahem: I really like Keeping up with the Kardashians.
I know, I know! I can hear the groans and see the eye’s rolling from here, and while I am aware that this declaration of guilt may get The Man calling our solicitor to file for irreconcilable differences I can’t help it. I tried not to! but I think the fact that there are a number of parallels - three sisters, the middle one being the most successful, younger sister who takes no prisoners and older sister with a new baby and all that that entails – means I’m just so curious to see how it all pans out. Being the middle, I suppose my loyalties should lie with Kim but that’s not so. No offense intended but she is probably the best advert for make-up ever seen as without it she seems to resemble a new born baby bird.
I genuinely don’t know what’s worse, the insincere crap that comes out of his mouth or the fact that he seems to think that we actually believe any of it. He may have Kourtney (the brunette version of Heidi Montag, only not so intelligent) wrapped around his little wiener, but the rest of the world aren't so dim-witted.
To quote the funniest Kardashian and add to the reasons why I like her, when Kourtney advised a radio show that she will probably have a second baby Khloe decided ‘we have to sew up her vagina’ I concur! Unsolicited advice time: Wake up Kourt, the father of your child has the word ‘Dick’ in his surname, surely even you can see no good can come from further breeding with this man?
So while this blog has seen to it that my latest reality TV lusting is no longer a secret I will still look forward to the times when The Man is out and I can turn on the TV and turn off my brain.
Now where did I put that remote again?